“Hole In The Wall” Gang Tryouts In Times Square

“Hole In The Wall” is a Japanese game show. It has a huge worldwide following. That kind of popularity means America’s creative producers must wakeup and pay attention. The game is similar to Tetris, the very popular computer game in which players steer shapes to fit openings. Here, players must contort themselves to fit through odd shapes in a giant Styrofoam wall. Easy, right? Not exactly. The wall is moving towards the three contestants. It will push the less limber and coordinated into a pool of water. The producers of “American Idol” are auditioning people here for the American version of this well-liked TV program. Interested? Apply at holeinthewallcasting-ny@gmail.com. Try to avoid winding up like a sad, Saturday morning cartoon character who runs toward a door but slams into the wall and slides down flat!

Smokers Closer To Pack-ing It In

New York cigarette smokers now pay the highest cigarette taxes in the country. State excise taxes were just raised to $2.75. Coupled with $1.50 a pack for city excise taxes; cigarettes are taxing more than just your breathing! Cigarettes now sell locally for $8.50 to $12.00 … per pack! Not surprisingly, retailers are getting cigarette-burned with complaints from anxious customers. With a tightening economy, the choice between cigarettes in the pocket and food in the belly may be no choice at all. Nicotine addicts may soon have to settle for a compromise solution and take to chewing tobacco to satisfy their cravings and hunger. Hey, puffers! Isn't it time to quit smoking for good?

Freedom Tower Signs 1st Business Tenant

A Chinese development company becomes the first private tenant to sign a lease for office space in the Freedom Tower. It's currently under construction. Beijing Vantone Real Estate signed the Port Authority’s “letter of intent” for 190,000 square feet on a 22 year lease. Welcome to New York, BVRE! I recognize that this building like the Twin Towers, will also become a world trade center. However, wasn’t there a single American company interested in the recognition of being the first American organization to lease space in this building? No prejudice intended here. I'm simply struggling with the adjustment from national patriotism to global economy.

Scoop Poop Or Pay More For Manure

The fine for cleaning up after your dog will rise from $100 to $250 if New York Governor Paterson signs the bill into law. City Sanitation Commissioner John Doherty said, “It sends a strong message to all dog owners about the seriousness of the law and their responsibility to comply.” This sh*t has got to end! I recognize it’s our duty to pick up our pet’s doody but let’s get real here. Is $250 reasonable punishment for a possible doggie--dump accident or mental lapse? It may be time to teach the old dog a new trick (see below). Then, let the city get it's money from some other asshole.

Illegal "Inn" The City

There are a reported 235 unlawful hotels operating within residential buildings in the borough of Manhattan. Foreigners are enjoying shorts stays in city apartments instead of local residents calling these units home. This practice is taking affordable housing away from needy tenants. It cheats the city out of millions of dollars too. Tourism is vital to New York’s economy, but tourists should not be welcomed into these buildings. Chanting “Peace and quiet, not a Hyatt!,” housing activists have joined forces with Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer. Together, they’ll try to do something about these hostile hostels.

Don't Kiss And Tell On Bloomberg

The mayor doesn’t appreciate Scott McClellan’s Washington-insider book. In it, Scotty is highly critical of his boss, President George Bush. Mayor Bloomberg believes that aides should be more responsible. Bloomberg’s feeling is that an employee in an administration or a private company should never write a tell-all tome. You can put that in writing. Maybe.

Con Ed Bills To Rise Again

Are you shocked? Experts believe this summer’s electricity bills may go up 30% in New York City because of higher fuel costs. Are you shocked? Con Edison already charges the highest rate of any major electric utility. Are you shocked? Con Ed projects a 13% increase. Are you surprised???