Queens-Midtown Tunnel Fizzle-Missile

Arye Sachs, 48, was recently in Federal court facing trademark infringement charges. It’s the way he got there that makes this story memorable. Sachs drove a 25-foot-long “missile” through the Queens-Midtown Tunnel and through the streets of Manhattan numerous times without being stopped! The phony rocket had the words “Viva Viagra” along the side. That didn’t make “little-blue-pill” manufacturer Pfizer Inc. any too happy. The judge, who ultimately ruled against Sachs, seemed more curious about how Sachs did it than what he did. According to Sachs, on September 8th, he simply towed his rocket right past laughing toll booth cops. In fact, Sachs stated that he drove the rocket through the Lincoln Tunnel five times without being questioned. Pfizer also took exception to the entrepreneur's mobile-billboard drive past their corporate headquarters too! A Port Authority spokesperson doesn’t believe Sachs could drive as freely as he did without being pulled over. He vows they’ll look into the matter. With the severe threats New Yorker’s face just by being New Yorkers, it’s pathetic and possibly criminal that the PA needs an investigation now to determine if this happened the way Sachs said it did. Shouldn't they already know for certain that it's impossible? It is impossible, right?

The Return Of Squeegee

Years ago, Rudy squeezed them out of the city to benefit our “quality-of-life.” Rudy’s gone. Now, street window-washers have returned. Several have been spotted "cleaning up" near the Lincoln Tunnel wiping windshields for tips, much to the dismay of drivers. These wipers were known to pursue their cleaning chores in an aggressive manner, leaving motorists intimidated … and with a dirty windshield. Some drivers report the same behavior. New York entrepreneurs should be admired. New York "squeegee guys" should be arrested. Hot dog vendors aren’t allowed to shove their wieners down your throat. Nobody should be permitted to force their wet wipes on your windows either.