Sunday, June 29, 2008

Nathan’s Nixes Two Minutes Of Gluttony

The annual July 4th hot dog eating contest held at Nathan’s in Coney Island will be doing its' part to reduce global warming. They’ve agreed to reduce the contest length from 12 minutes down to 10. This change is being made at the insistence of George Shea of Major League Eating which manages the event. He claims that he’s found notes from 1917 stating that the frankfurter contest lasted only 10 minutes. An article from 1986 corroborated that time limit. Shea believes he’s preserving history, not changing it by instituting this new rule. Whether last year’s winner, Joey Chestnut can best his record of eating 60 hot dogs in just 10 minutes this year remains to be seen. Takero Kobayashi from Japan has previously won the event on six occasions. This year, time and time difference will decide who eats the most hot dogs and buns. Hot gases will be rising from the contestants’ buns this coming week. Be prepared for a heat wave, Brooklyn! Look away from your television set, Al Gore!

OTB Remains A Sure Bet

Governor Paterson and Mayor Bloomberg crossed the Finish Line with a last minute agreement to save Off-Track Betting in New York City. The deal is pending approval by both houses of the New York State Legislature. The pact is somewhat complicated with many financial considerations for both sides. No details will be discussed here. Suffice to say, Mayor Bloomberg’s gamble to close OTB offices in the city unless New York received a bigger share of the profits apparently worked. Albany chose to "bite the bullet" that might have sent OTB to "the glue factory." The compromise between the city and state guarantees the jobs of 1,500 OTB workers and no doubt pleases the many hundreds of thousands of pony-players who bet throughout the Big Apple. Well, it probably pleases them only until their horses finish out-of-the-money! And now, some famous quotes … A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time. ~Author Unknown … I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five. ~Henny Youngman … A race track (OTB?) is a place where windows clean people. ~Danny Thomas