Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Raccoons Survive And Thrive Among The Dead

Brooklyn’s venerable 478-acre Green-Wood Cemetery is reportedly overrun by 100’s and more likely, 1,000’s of hungry raccoons. Years of “looking the other way” by New York city officials have been a “boon to the raccoon” here. The situation is as bad as it has been in the last 40 years; yet, appropriate city employees are “dead at their desks.” The mask-eyed critters easily survive on insects and vegetation, fresh sod and flowers left on graves and food items scavenged from neighborhood garbage pails. Crypts have often become homes to the more intrepid of the lot.

Alas, nighttime in this graveyard reveals no spirits for ghost-hunters to record. Only the glowing eyes of creatures that are in their element may be seen here … and are seen, everywhere! No longer captured and euthanized, they will continue to multiply and live in impunity. Perhaps in years to come, those of us who become residents of Green-Wood will hear scratching on our casket lid. Nobody in government is listening now. Too late for us to act or complain then.

NYC Sperm Banks Spreading "Seeds" Of Doubt

The New York State Health Department reportedly found many serious violations at 5 local sperm banks. Deadly bookkeeping and medical errors were rampant. Problems may exist in other centers as well. Check thoroughly before making a potentially sperm-spoiled deposit or withdrawal. I wonder if these banks will be forced to offer free checking to keep their clients and attract new customers in the future?

NYC’s Ferry Fairy

There’s a new idea that’s being floated in this town. City Council Speaker Christine Quinn is proposing a plan to develop commuter-ferry service linking all five boroughs in New York. The plan is in it’s early stages and undoubtedly needs tinkering, but the concept and potential benefits to the city and it’s commuters are exciting. Generally considered to be one of the most powerful women in New York, Quinn may actually her vision come to be. Boat tours around Manhattan have been very popular for over a century. Being stuck on a train or in traffic has been very unpopular for about the same amount of time. Let’s hope this idea of hers proves to be water-worthy and not a Titanic waste of money.

Are We The Big Apple Or The Big Banana?

Did you know that NYC has it’s own official condom? Well, as the epicenter of the HIV/AIDS epidemic with about 100,000 of New York’s 8.2 million residents infected, something radical needed to be done. Roughly 3 million free condoms a month were distributed last year by the Health Department. This year, a new ad campaign, “get some,” or “pontello (Spanish)," hopes to make an even greater impact. Free condoms are available locally in hundreds of bars, restaurants, salons and distributed by several non-profit groups. Health Department teams will also travel around the city handing them out. Hey New Yorkers! If 42nd Street could be cleaned up, make sure your sexual attractions are safer too.