“Floating Pool Lady” Returns Home

Tugboats brought the “good-time gal” back home to New York after her long winter vacation in Bayonne, NJ. Last year, she entertained 50,000 children and adults in Brooklyn Bridge Park. This year, she’ll be in the water off Barretto Point Park in The Bronx for the entire summer. Once securely moored, she’ll be connected to water, sewer and electric lines. For city kids without access to pools on hot days, this large-barge with pool and amenities is a most welcome ship that's just, "sitting by the dock of the bay." Stop by and enjoy her. Maybe bring Otis along for good, mellow company.

Triborough Bridge To Be Renamed

The New York State Assembly voted to rename the Triborough Bridge in honor of Robert F. Kennedy. This unexpected, but welcome tribute comes on the 40th anniversary of the senator’s assassination. The pain of that night, the sense of "what might have been," still remains, undiminished by time. The bill awaits Governor Paterson’s signature which is expected. Built in 1936, the bridge connects Queens, The Bronx and Manhattan (3 boroughs). As a visionary man who looked to bridge the many gaps that divide all people, it’s even more fitting that a bridge spanning not just two, but three land masses will be named for RFK.

“Hole In The Wall” Gang Tryouts In Times Square

“Hole In The Wall” is a Japanese game show. It has a huge worldwide following. That kind of popularity means America’s creative producers must wakeup and pay attention. The game is similar to Tetris, the very popular computer game in which players steer shapes to fit openings. Here, players must contort themselves to fit through odd shapes in a giant Styrofoam wall. Easy, right? Not exactly. The wall is moving towards the three contestants. It will push the less limber and coordinated into a pool of water. The producers of “American Idol” are auditioning people here for the American version of this well-liked TV program. Interested? Apply at holeinthewallcasting-ny@gmail.com. Try to avoid winding up like a sad, Saturday morning cartoon character who runs toward a door but slams into the wall and slides down flat!

Smokers Closer To Pack-ing It In

New York cigarette smokers now pay the highest cigarette taxes in the country. State excise taxes were just raised to $2.75. Coupled with $1.50 a pack for city excise taxes; cigarettes are taxing more than just your breathing! Cigarettes now sell locally for $8.50 to $12.00 … per pack! Not surprisingly, retailers are getting cigarette-burned with complaints from anxious customers. With a tightening economy, the choice between cigarettes in the pocket and food in the belly may be no choice at all. Nicotine addicts may soon have to settle for a compromise solution and take to chewing tobacco to satisfy their cravings and hunger. Hey, puffers! Isn't it time to quit smoking for good?

Freedom Tower Signs 1st Business Tenant

A Chinese development company becomes the first private tenant to sign a lease for office space in the Freedom Tower. It's currently under construction. Beijing Vantone Real Estate signed the Port Authority’s “letter of intent” for 190,000 square feet on a 22 year lease. Welcome to New York, BVRE! I recognize that this building like the Twin Towers, will also become a world trade center. However, wasn’t there a single American company interested in the recognition of being the first American organization to lease space in this building? No prejudice intended here. I'm simply struggling with the adjustment from national patriotism to global economy.

Scoop Poop Or Pay More For Manure

The fine for cleaning up after your dog will rise from $100 to $250 if New York Governor Paterson signs the bill into law. City Sanitation Commissioner John Doherty said, “It sends a strong message to all dog owners about the seriousness of the law and their responsibility to comply.” This sh*t has got to end! I recognize it’s our duty to pick up our pet’s doody but let’s get real here. Is $250 reasonable punishment for a possible doggie--dump accident or mental lapse? It may be time to teach the old dog a new trick (see below). Then, let the city get it's money from some other asshole.

Illegal "Inn" The City

There are a reported 235 unlawful hotels operating within residential buildings in the borough of Manhattan. Foreigners are enjoying shorts stays in city apartments instead of local residents calling these units home. This practice is taking affordable housing away from needy tenants. It cheats the city out of millions of dollars too. Tourism is vital to New York’s economy, but tourists should not be welcomed into these buildings. Chanting “Peace and quiet, not a Hyatt!,” housing activists have joined forces with Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer. Together, they’ll try to do something about these hostile hostels.