Chomping Champ Chestnut Swallows Victory

Look out stomach! There he goes again! Nathan’s two-time and defending champion hot-dog eater, Joey Chestnut, ate 45 slices of pizza in 10 minutes to win the Famous Famiglia World Pizza Eating Championship. That’s the equivalent of 5 ½ 16” diameter cheese pies! Godzilla eating his way through Tokyo had a snack compared to Chestnut gorging on "cheesy triangles" in formerly sleazy Times Square! It’s his first pizza pie contest victory. Joey’s chestnuts may soon be in the fire though from new competition. With the fast-rising cost of food in New York City, many city residents may soon be looking to enter food contests just for the “free eats!”

Godzilla Marries Non-Bridezilla

It was finally revealed that Hideki Matsui, of Tokyo Yomiuri Giants and New York Yankees fame, left spring training to marry a 25-year-old Japanese lady. No name or photo given for this mystery woman yet but we hear she’s a professional woman of tremendous beauty and class. Now that the nuptials are revealed, CONGRATULATIONS AND BEST WISHES TO YOU BOTH!