School Safety Study Smells After Seven

How many years does it take to review traffic outside our schools? Well, there’s a study in Queens that’s ongoing for seven years! The Department of Transportation took responsibility for an important pedestrian and traffic study back in 2001. It had funding of $2.5 million. To date, only 10% of new schools have been studied. According to New York Councilman Eric Gioia, at this pace, it’ll take another twenty years for DOT to complete their research! He correctly states that traffic patterns and population vary over extended periods of time. Long-term studies have "little to no value" to resolve any immediate dangers for our children. "Little to no value?" Kind of like the DOT and city government personnel who permit things like this to take place during their stewardship.

Is There A Criminal In The House?

The Brooklyn House of Detention, located on Atlantic Avenue, is reopening after being closed for five years. Neighbors are none too glad to see it back. Mayor Bloomberg plans to reopen the facility with almost the double the bed capacity to 1,469 cots. The city closed the prison because it was bad for the area’s rejuvenation. Those who bought into the rejuvenating neighborhood and those who were planning to buy, will undoubtedly oppose this new jail in court. The facility is due to open in 2012. It will be used to house inmates with sentences of less than one year. A Correction Department spokesperson said they’re firmly committed to the project, believing it’s a great thing for the criminal justice system. With the new Nu Hotel across the way, one wonders if their guests who pay over $300 for a room will enjoy hearing Jailhouse Rock when they shut their eyes

Have We A Ye-She-Va?

Former New York Yeshiva University professor Jay Ladin left two years ago. Joy Ladin returned to begin teaching where Jay Ladin, left off. Yes, Jay/Joy is a transsexual. Many rabbis and other school officials there are not pleased by the change. They believe it violates Torah law, morality and ethics. To make matters worse (depending on one’s point of view), Joy reportedly retains Jay’s manhood. This dispute began in 2006, shortly after Jay was tenured. At that point Jay announced he was in the process of becoming a she. After months of debate, it was agreed that Jay could return as Joy. Jay’s wife left him, taking their three kids with her. Joy now heads the writing center at the university. King Solomon hasn’t been reached for an opinion, but he might suggest that for those writing about this topic, check their spelling for the proper usage of “a’s” and “o’s” and for the appropriate use of past and present tense.

Astroland Rides Up For Sale

Doing your Christmas shopping early? How about buying a 275-foot-high Astroland Space Tower at $99,000? Perhaps the Water Flume water ride for $199,000, Break Dance for $299,000, Dante’s Inferno for $225,000, Bumper Cars for $199,000, Merry-Go-Round for $95,000 or the Top Spin ride for a meager $499,000? Step right up and buy ten rides including those previously mentioned for a steal at only $2,724.000! Two dozen other rides will either be listed soon or stored. Carol Albert, Astroland’s longtime operator, must quickly clear Brooklyn's famed Coney Island park of all rides and 16 trailers of carnival items too. Hoping to close a deal with the landlord, she may have waited too long to start the sale. Many hope the Astroland Tower, built in 1963, will be saved and rebuilt somewhere nearby.

NYPD Segway Scooters Supposedly Suck

Since 2003, some cops have been patrolling on two wheels instead of two feet. Police Officer Gary Schneider, 42, trained other police officers on how to properly navigate around town on a Segway scooter. Sadly, a software glitch caused a demonstration ride to lock its wheels and throw him to the ground. He broke his leg so severely that he was unable to continue working for the NYPD. Now, he’s suing the Police Department for all of their purchase, maintenance and repair records. He believes that Segways suck and he’s looking to protect his fellow cops. He’s not faulting the city, but Segway, the manufacturer. Why again is it that cops need these gizmos instead of walking their beats in New York City?

TKTS Booth To Raise Curtain

Shakespeare wrote that, “All the world’s a stage and all of us, merely players.” Well, New York City taxpayers were bit players in the production of the new $19 million TKTS Booth in Manhattan’s Times Square. This state-of-the-art and visually spectacular booth will sell discount Broadway and off-Broadway tickets like the old booth did. Not unexpectedly for public projects in NYC, this facility is 18 months late and $11.4 million over budget. "Unforeseen" business hardships and "poor" project management by the Times Square Alliance are to blame. The group’s Board of Directors however places the blame with its president, Tim Tompkins. The play and the way we’re constantly played, goes on.

Yankees Shut Out Singing Soprano

Since the 1930’s, Dominic Chianese, 77, (aka “Uncle Junior” on the popular HBO Sopranos show) has been a Yankees fan. His wish was to sing the Star-Spangled Banner on the Bronx field before the Stadium closes. The former tenor (not soprano) who’s performed at New York City's Carnegie Hall, apparently made the Yanks an offer they could refuse. The team said they turn down many requests each year, so this denial is not out of the ordinary. For the balance of the year, management has decided to play a recording of the anthem instead of inviting singers. In other words, Junior, FUHGEDDABOUTIT!